QuietDawn

Soft misses
Traces of heat
Lingering tenderness
Lay before the edge
As the snowy silk is uncovered
Hunt up the courage
To draw sensuous circles
Lazily roll into a rhythm
Grin behind quiet ears
All on an electric whim
No surface will be doubted
Currents of thirst flow through
Jabs of shivers echo
The room swirls in luminous hues

Hold this breath
Wait for the assurance
Clearly not death
Restored to all its cracks
Wholesome and tranquil
Small worries put to rest
Waters never stayed so still
Sources of savor have only begun

No thought, no plan, no judgement
Just plain yogurt and a variety of toppings
Only no toppings were necessary
A clean slate of enjoyment
No need to share the flavor
A swim in the deep end of bliss
Without the safety of poison control
Injuries aside to capture such a breath
The song repeats over and over
Louder and louder to point of fears dropping away
Shredding all absurdity coating this outlook
To view the sunshine slipping under the colorful ocean blanket

Do I need it?
Yeah sure sometimes
But for some reason…
Will it true or just a comfort?
Yes true and comfy
But not yet not soon…
Are there going to be complications?
Of course, of course!
But it’ll happen when it happens…
When did the daze start fading?
Not to long ago
What a strange requirement of sentiments
Can a pinprick of blood be as frightening?
No, no more
Centuries of flavors will be muddled…
Where is the faded message in a bottle?
Somewhere washing through the waves
No message is ever as clear…

I want to so badly…
I need to so madly…
But it will just ruin what I have tried avoiding…
Sadly I run into another story
Gladly I found my way back to my semi-paradise 
But it isn’t enough for me not to pursue the unethical

Damn the pain!
Damn the rain!
Although the warmth of the room burns…
Drain the unnecessary from my morbid soul
Gain the will to withstand my lonely obnoxious hole

Bugs crawl in my bed
Bugs watch as I am fed
Even if I had no one to see what was…
Dead and I would at least have a magnificent defeat
Treading the waves of a mystifying surrender of self

How I still taste the horrid shame
How I still smell the grotesque flame
But it was perfume veiling the stench of…
Games where to be avoided,so I tried tricks instead
Blame could be past around and turn into a blanket of lies

Roll towards the end
Roll before the doors have opened
Although there are songs that drown all…
Offending such a miraculous organ
Descending a stairway of inevitable encounters

held together

by the thread

of a fairy tale

cartoonish

is the smile

that comforts 

held apart

by the web

of sincerity

delish

is the softness

that haunts

held under

by the petal 

of perplexity 

selfish

is the taint

that impacts

held atop

by the vain

of a delusion

reddish

is the sore

that develops

I want to cuddle 

I want more than just a day of it

I want it more than jumping in a mud puddle

I crave to eat homemade strawberry ice cream

I crave more than just one scope of it

I crave it more than a shiver after a kiss in a dream

I desire to run barefoot on a beach

I desire more than just running on it

I desire it more than a bite of a juicy peach

got me some new kicks

and later that night I had a few licks

of the best ice cream ever

I wish I had been more clever

then I could have gotten new clothes as well

lately I’ve been hating this one song by adele

but all her other songs sound beautiful

i almost created a new bridge toward something artful

Now though I’m stuck with that fear of trust

the few of many that didn’t involve lust

Very close and I could have entered a new entanglement

luckily I already have a place to vent

anyways…I just got my package I ordered a week ago!!

New bed sheets to feel like I’m sleeping in the ocean below

Having so many new things all at once feels incredible

my insides are already becoming mendable

I was asked one question today and it struck deep

although I did have trouble with sleep

The pain of losing this one wasn’t as bad as the others

Though it would have been entertaining if we had been lovers

I could almost laugh but I’m not rude

Not sure if this changes anything or if I have a new attitude

Dark romantics in English class…10/15/08

So you’ve known me for a while 

and for some reason you keep me at distance

I don’t get angry with this distance

I just feel surprised that it’s working

Usually when I have some one as close

As you are I would have already started

Thinking about a lot more..

Yes its true I feel awful to not get

A text from you. But I know you have a life

So I shouldn’t bother worrying to much…

_____

I dunno the rest doesn’t make sense

Another in chemistry class..though I do kinda feel like this today..

_________________

The day goes by full and corrupted

Smiling I enter with a bounce

The more I remember the more I enjoy

Could anything be better than this?

The pieces that have been broken are now mended

My life feels more connected to the others

No more waiting because its already here

It’s not rushing by anymore and getting lost

I can see what is in front of me without the fog

I’m ready to confront the mistakes I have made

My fears are slipping away from my shoulders

The holes that had been made are now pretty scars

One more day before I speak to them

Thankfully I have realized that I was causing it all

In my mind I had lost it, no one asked

Today I will speak towards you not me

2008…think this one was made when I was half asleep..haha sorry for the simplicity 

may 9th 11 936am

_____

Im glad we met 

Thats why you are here

Making my day more than set

Man this sux my dear

I wish we could past time with cheer

I know I should quit

by tearing my soulless pit

Warm and soft is your skin

Which is what I feel when I hear your ping

Just burn my soggy cereal 

Smooth my lumpy hair which is unreal

No more this distant happiness

All I have to clear my head

From any feeling Im close to sadness

You let me lay in bed

To wonder if I wil ever see you tonight

Not hearing your voice is killing me

(kinda feel like this atm 10/11/11)

2007

_____

Blue Nails and red as my hair

Your orange shoes broke all my need to care

That Im in love with you

You probably don’t know this

but Im lost within myself

and I don’t know what to do

My lips pout when I see you with someone else

My cheeks redden when I see you depressed

Your eyes shine brighter than seashells

7/13/08

______________

Share with me this delicious feeling

Dely the cold bitter drink

Get close enough to see me healing

Let yourself go and let it sink

Grin at the ideas I mention

I fantasize often about those two pillows you call lips

Don’t give in to my desire to meet them with mine

Nothing will control me not even small sips..

NEW~ made 5/6/11

_

I feel like a big baby for crying

but then I would be lying

that those words of failure

were words of my bad behavior 

Honestly I couldnt agree more 

Wish I had slammed the door

thrown it right back into his face

Anything to win back my place

but nothing could be done 

I just wanted to quickly run

towards the sun towards freedom

Tears fall now because I wasn’t prepared

To ache like my skin had been bared

and burned, my skull throbs from the aftershocks

My lips are dry, my hair a cache of knots, as somebody knocks

I answer to the sight of my shield come to exhort

Once done they reach out to give me support

I clear my throat and rub my eyes 

Tears start spurting out of me like flies

Hiccuping and choking on a salty sob

I feel like a completely idiotic slob

Reality soon hits me and the moment was dead

I now have to hold my breath and keep my head

before I crash into the rocks and disappear

Im just glad I was able to steer

back into the city, back into reality, back into my form

Where I can live in my typical storm

I wrote this in the throes of teen love…yes its real alright and it was powerful for me as it had been for them…I just said the wrong things and ruined it…-2008

___________________________

I look closer I see your soul

I take one last glance

What I see is no mystery

If you talk to me

Many words could be said

Your smile would be enough

Though a hug can help more than anything else

It’d be a pleasure to hang with you

Finally free from any disturbing thoughts

Not being judged for my troubles

enjoyed for my everything

Having the same dreams

To help people yet travel around 

I’m still crying when I hear you sad

My chest aches when I hear it

I care so much about you

My sweet love don’t ever let go

promise to hold on

Take my hand and I’ll give you strength

You are what I’ve been thinking og

right before I sleep

My skin softens at the sound of your presence 

I have no doubt that there

will be no one else

wholesome and loving like you

I do trust you more than anyone else

Telling you everything on my mind

Everything I have ever imagined 

Your soul has me entangled

and enthralled